


Study Break

by tinkerd



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Alternate Universe - Coffee Shops & Cafés, Alternate Universe - College/University, Anxiety, Barista Dean Winchester, College Student Castiel, College Student Dean Winchester, Fluff, M/M, Misunderstandings, Pining
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-21
Updated: 2018-08-20
Packaged: 2019-05-09 15:38:50
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 9
Words: 13,854
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14718870
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tinkerd/pseuds/tinkerd
Summary: Castiel always took the same trail to campus, ordered the same drink at the campus coffee shop, and sat at the same table. That is until a new barista shows up and pushes Castiel outside of his comfort zone.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first time and it's going to be rough so I apologize ahead of time. Thanks for reading and all comments and critiques are welcome.
> 
> p.s. I don't really know what I'm doing just having a little fun.

The damp fall air cuts through Castiel’s coat like a knife, making him shiver down to the bone. He weaves his way through the woods taking the usual shortcut trail to campus from his apartment. The amount of time he saves is worth the mud, wind, and leaves. It’s not like his hair wasn’t already in a constant state of disarray when he woke up. When he reaches the campus coffee shop, Meg greets him with a smirk, “Hey Clarence, looks like you lost a fight with a tree.”

Castiel squints at her and runs his hand through his hair as a couple leaves fall out.

“Yes, it’s quite a windy Monday. I think the weather is getting worse.”

“That’s a shame, now we can’t go on that picnic you promised me,” she winks and he rolls his eyes.

“The usual?” she asks, Castiel nods, and smiles as Meg enters in his order.

This has been Castiel’s routine for the past couple of years ever since he met Meg. He walks to campus, orders the same large green tea with local organic honey and sits at the same table in the corner near the window waiting for her shift to end at the coffee shop so they can go to class together. Meg has always been friendly towards him, which was very unexpected. She decided to sit by him in their general biology class freshman year.

Despite their vast differences, Meg was persistent that they become friends. For that he is thankful because he has become quite fond of her presence despite her mood swings.  Meg usually tries to get Castiel to go out with her at least once a week, but he’s been too occupied with school work and studying. He’s always too busy with school, he barely has a social life and no one except for Meg even tries to invite him to parties anymore.

“Clarence?”

Castiel looks up startled by the unfamiliar deep voice. As he grabs his tea, a man that he has never seen before stares back at him. Their fingers brush as he stares into the man’s startling green eyes.

“Careful it’s hot,” he says as he smiles, but his eyes drift to the top of Castiel’s head.

Castiel tilts his head still staring at him. The barista meets his eyes blushing slightly.

“You have something in your hair,” he gestures towards his own head and Castiel touches the top of his feeling a couple of leaves crunch under his touch. He brushes them out of his hair blushing.

“Thanks,” he says staring at the ground to avoid any more embarrassment.

“No problem,” the barista smiles again then turns back to make another drink.

Castiel is at a loss for words as he slowly walks to his usual table in the corner. He has never seen that barista before and he didn’t even look to see his name. He was too distracted by the set of eyes that seemed to stare into his soul. Castiel unpacks his backpack and watches as the man works behind the counter and calls out more names. He moves effortlessly from station to station mixing drinks and talking to Meg with a constant smile on his face.

At one point he meets Castiel’s eyes from across the room and winks. Castiel can feel his cheeks heating up as he directs his gaze towards his computer screen. When he looks back up, the barista has gone back to happily preparing the drinks. Blinking a few times he looks down at his computer and tries to work on his paper.

He can’t help but glance up at the barista every now and then letting his imagination run. He thinks about how confidence rolled the man’s shoulders, his eyes sparkle when he smiles. He’s flirting with the customer leaning over the counter to pull the braid of a pretty brunette he recognizes from some of his classes. Castiel averts his eyes, but can’t stop his mind from wandering to thoughts of the barista.

A couple hours later Meg finishes her shift and meets him at his table. He starts to pack up his things and they head to class together. Castiel looks back for the barista one last time before he goes seeing him laughing with another customer, a flirtatious grin set on his face. He looks away and continues to class with Meg.

“You’re awfully quiet today,” she says as they walk through the crowded halls.

“I’m just thinking.”

She nudges him, “You gotta stop doing that you might hurt yourself.”

She doesn’t push any further and continues to talk about the weekly drama with Ruby. He doesn’t listen though because he can’t stop picturing the barista smiling and laughing. They found their seats in the lecture hall and Castiel’s mind still wouldn’t focus. Later that day he found himself wandering towards the coffee shop again casually glancing in to see if the barista was still there, but alas he was nowhere to be seen. He sighs and heads toward the bus stop as the rain beats across the windows.

-

The smell of propane fills his nose and is already giving him a headache. The bumps and creaks of public transportation make Castiel uneasy but the weather was not permitting him to walk home. Underneath the bus stop more students began to gather until the crowding became uncomfortable. He closes his eyes and tries to focus on the rhythm of the rain now approaching a downpour. The hiss of the bus coming to a stop breaks him out of his trance.

He finds an open spot near the middle of the bus and places his backpack next to him to avoid any awkward conversations with strangers.The bus slowly begins to move and Castiel concentrates on the raindrops racing on window. He truly enjoys the rain, the calming constant rhythm, the fresh smell after a heavy shower, the way the light reflects and everything looks like a watercolor painting, lines blurring...

His train of thought is disrupted when the bus abruptly stops and someone boards. He hears a muffled, “Thanks man,” and looks up to see who was the cause of the disturbance. What he’s met with is a view of a wet barista from earlier today scanning the bus for a place to sit. Castiel stares until the barista meets his gaze and smiles.

“Is this spot taken?” All Castiel can do is shake his head quickly grabbing his backpack and cradling it in his lap.

“Thanks.” The barista quickly sits down as the bus picks up speed.

Castiel watches him as he runs his hand through his hair trying to dry it, shaking it once then turning to look at him. Castiel flinches as water drops hit him and the barista stares at him.

“Clarence right?”

“Excuse me?”

“That’s your name isn’t it, Clarence?” Castiel internally rolls his eyes at himself.

“No sorry that’s not... Meg started calling me years ago. My name is Castiel.”

“Huh, cool name it’s nice to meet you, I’m Dean,” he awkwardly reaches across his bag for a handshake.

Castiel reaches across, smiles, and gives a firm shake. As soon as he lets go he misses the warmth of Dean’s hand. Castiel hoped this would be the end of the conversation as he turned to look out the window again. The headache from the bus smells was returning.  

“So are you a biology major like Meg?” Dean asked.

“Yes, but I’m also a biochemistry major,” He waits for the usual reactions of groans or gasps of horror. Why would anyone want to go through that much torture just for a degree?

“That’s awesome, so do you want to be a hotshot doctor or something?” surprised by his answer, Castiel glances at Dean.

“Yes actually that is the plan.”

“Good for you man, I’m just going to be an engineer, but my little brother Sammy’s going to be lawyer. He’s applying to Stanford this year. Kid's a genius just like you. He got all the good genes or whatever.”

Dean is so open and genuinely excited to be talking to Castiel about his brother. It was strange, something Castiel was not used to with someone who he just met, but he smiles to himself as Dean continues to talk. The man really is quite stunning with a strong jawline yet somewhat delicate features.

“Your brother sounds wonderful Dean, and engineering is a hard major. I wouldn’t be able to do all of that physics.”

“Sure but I won’t be saving lives anytime soon,” with that comment Castiel watches Dean stand and toss his bag over his shoulder.

“It was nice chatting with you Cas, maybe I’ll see you around.” he winks and smiles as he leaves the bus and Castiel feels himself sink down in his seat.

What was that? Such a brief interaction and he can already feel his blood pressure rising. When the bus stops by his apartment he all but runs to his room and closes the door ignoring his roommate Balthazar's comments about him looking like a drowned rat.

He tries to get Dean out of his mind the best way he knows how to, school. He sits down at his desk with his laptop and tries writing his paper for the second time that day.


	2. Chapter 2

He doesn’t see Dean again until Wednesday morning when he returns to the coffee shop. He’s making drinks and Castiel can already feel the nerves creeping into his skin.

“Clarence, you’re here early,” Meg says.

“Yes I didn’t have breakfast. Balthazar ate all of the eggs and bagels and didn’t care to inform me.”

“So the usual and a bagel today.”

“Please.” He smiles as he notices Dean nearby. He grabs his bagel and watches Dean prepare his drink.

“Clarence,” Dean calls out smirking as he hands him his drink.

“Hello Dean,” Castiel greets him. 

“Hey Cas, looks like you didn’t run into a tree today.”

He self consciously runs his hand through his hair.“No the trees weren’t out to get me today.”

“That’s good, careful it’s hot,” Dean says as he winks.

“Thank you,” Castiel smiles and can feel himself blush.

He accepts his drink, finds his table, and thinks of all of the things he could have said.

'It's not the only thing that's hot' or 'here's my number as a tip' or 'maybe I don't want to be careful around you.'

Ugh, thank heavens something like that didn't tumble out of his mouth like word vomit. He rubs his hand through his hair again and unpacks his things. 

Taking a bite of the bagel his eyes meet Dean's and watches a grin spreads across his face. He stares as Dean swipes his finger across his nose a few times. Castiel mirrors his actions finding cream cheese on the tip of nose.

He immediately grabs a napkin and looks away blushing once again. Great job Castiel, get caught staring and make a fool of yourself in front of the hot barista.

His next attempts to memorize all of the amino acids is very unsuccessful as Dean is much more interesting to study. He has become a constant distraction as Castiel's eyes continuously drift towards him. He sees him making a blended drink and never has he been more interested in a man using a blender in his life.

When Dean licks some whipped cream off of his hand Castiel quickly averts his eye to stare at the structure of tryptophan. When he leaves with Meg he finds himself glancing at Dean one last time.

The cycle continues like this for another couple of weeks as the semester begins to pick up and midterms approach. Castiel is content to have even the briefest interactions with Dean, any more and he wouldn’t be a productive human being at all.

One day when Meg meets him at his table to walk to class she snakes her arm around his as they walk. His eyes wander to Dean when they walk out and he notices him staring at them. Castiel tilts his head at him and Dean gives them a dismissive nod.

“So it’s my birthday next Friday and since I know you don’t have any other plans you’re coming to my party.”

“Meg midterms are in less than a week, I don’t think it would be a good idea for me...”

“Castiel, this is my birthday and it only comes once a year. You are coming even if I have to drag you by your trench coat,” she argues. 

He sighs, “Fine I’ll come but I really need to study for my exams and I haven’t even started to re-write... ”

Before he can finish she pats his cheek and smirks at him, “I know, I know, you’re a little nerd and you have to re-write all of your notes or else you think you’re going to fail. So tell me, what’s going on with you and Dean?”

Castiel looks away from her, “I don’t know what you are talking about.”

“Oh c’mon I see you staring at the pretty boy from across the coffee shop.”

“Meg it’s nothing, he is just quite... aesthetically pleasing.”

“Mhm that’s what I thought. So are you going to do something about it or just dance around each other like a couple of idiots?”

“You know I don’t have time for that.”

“Alright Clarence, just keep telling yourself that.”

-

Before he knows it Friday night is here to bite him in the ass.The idea of going out to one of Meg’s parties was already giving him anxiety. Balthazar decided it was a grand idea to go with to ‘make sure Cassie gets home safe’ when Castiel knows he will not be the one who's going to need help getting home by the end of the night.

Dressed in a button down and black jeans he wrangles Balthazar and they walk over to Meg’s place. When they arrive, there are already too many people for Castiel’s liking.

Walking in the back door, he quickly locates Meg in the middle of the living room already dancing with Ruby and some other friends. The moment Meg spots him he hears squealing.

“Happy birthday Meg,” he says bracing himself.

“Clarence! You came and you brought me a gift!” She grabs the bottle of kinky vodka that Balthazar insisted on bringing to ‘liven things up.’ She sways into a hug and Castiel all but has to catch her before she falls.

“And you brought this smarmy bastard with you. Balthazar!” She reaches for him at the same time and they become a tangled up in Meg’s hair.

“I couldn’t let Cassie here have all of the fun now could I? Plus who would make sure that he has any fun at all if I wasn’t here.”

“Oh he’s going to have fun, it’s my birthday!” She yells to the room and they all cheer with her. Meg drags them to the kitchen and makes them drinks.

Balthazar smiles when he takes a sip of his drink and kisses Meg on the cheek, “Well now that Cassie is in good hands, I am going to go find some lovely ladies to dance with. Ciao and happy birthday love.”

“Balthazar...” Castiel says through his teeth while Meg is pressed up against his side.

“Oh come on Clarence, lighten up! I’m not that bad, try and have fun tonight.”

“I think you should drink some water. We have a long night ahead of us.” Castiel leaves her leaning on the kitchen table and grabs her a glass of ice water.

“Okay Doctor whatever you say.” She smirks and starts sipping on the water.

A number of people come and talk to him but most are classmates he hasn't really spoken to before. By the time he finishes his second drink and mindless conversations with a handful of people, Meg drags him to dance.

Before he knows it, he’s in a crowd surrounded by dozens of people. The drinks Meg made was strong and he could already feel a happy buzz.

As they sway to the music more people shuffle in and soon he is pressed up against Meg and two other strangers. Castiel was looking around trying to track down where Balthazar went when someone bumps into him and a drink spills all over his arm.

“Shit man, I’m sorry!”

Castiel is quickly met with a beautiful pair of green eyes. His angry glare is quickly replaced with a smile.

“Hello Dean."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you to everyone who has read so far and left kudos! Again I apologize for any spelling or grammar errors.


	3. Chapter 3

The panic in Dean’s eyes quickly turns into recognition.

“Hey Cas I’m sorry.”

Meg turns around and he gets whipped with her hair in the process.

“Dean! Look at you all tall, dark, and handsome!” She says and tugs on Dean's leather jacket.

“Uh hey happy birthday Meg, Lisa invited me.” That’s when Castiel notices the brunette from class - Lisa, peaking around Dean’s arm.

“That’s great, the more the merrier and if they’re as good looking at you, keep 'em coming!” She giggles into Castiel’s side while not so discreetly smacking his arm a few times. Dean looks between them for an instant with a look Castiel can't seem to place. 

“Okay, c’mon Cas let’s go get you cleaned up.” He nods as Dean whispers something to Lisa and she goes to dance with Meg again.

The kitchen feels ten degrees cooler and much less crowded. Castiel releases a breath that he didn’t know he was holding. He grips the edges of the sink and runs some warm water. Dean is close to his side and he can feel the heat coming off of him.

“You’ll probably want to take off your shirt unless you want to stick your entire arm in there.” Castiel releases the sink and begins unbuttoning his shirt and places the sleeve under the water and rings out any remaining beer and water. Thank heavens he had on an undershirt.

“Not even our first date and I’m already getting you out of your clothes.”

Castiel inhales sharply and starts coughing. Dean pats and rubs his back; his hand is steady and calming.

“Take it easy Cas. Do you want to get some fresh air? It’s a little stuffy in here.” Castiel can only nod as he catches his breath.

“It’s to be expected when there are this many people in one confined space.” He hangs his shirt on the back of a kitchen chair to dry as Dean grabs them a couple more drinks. They step outside into the cool night air.

Castiel can feel the sweat cooling on his skin and tension release from his body. Being with Dean is calming... wait no it’s just the fresh air. Castiel shakes his head, he has to stop thinking like that.

Dean passes him the drink and their hands linger before Dean releases the cup. "Thanks," Castiel mumbles and drinks the beer. He makes a mental note to switch to water.  

“I haven’t seen you on the bus lately.”

“Have you been looking for me?” Castiel raises an eyebrow at Dean and can see him blush, but it’s probably just the alcohol in his system.

“Uh no, well kinda I guess... I wasn’t trying be creepy or anything I just -” Dean runs a hand through his hair flustered.

“I was just kidding Dean, it's fine,” Castiel shifts closer to him. His arm apparently has a mind of it's own as it reaches for Dean's. His hand slides down the side of Dean's arm as he leans on the railing.

“I usually walk to campus unless Mother Nature in being moody that day. I prefer to walk as much as possible. The bus makes me uneasy with all the people and smells. I get headaches...”

“Yeah I know what you mean," Dean leans closer. "I’d rather drive but I’m not letting some asshole bang up my baby in the parking lot. People park way too close for comfort and don’t respect other people’s vehicles.”

“Did you just refer to your car as your baby?”

"Absolutely and if you saw her you would understand. She is a beautiful ‘67 Chevy Impala and I basically rebuilt her from scratch.” Dean continues to talk about his car with so much enthusiasm he almost spills his drink again.

“Do all engineers have an unhealthy obsession with their cars?”

Dean gasps and grabs his heart, “Cas, how dare you say such a thing to me! I take back my apology for spilling beer on you.”

They both chuckle and Castiel notices that Dean smells like leather, cheap beer, and a hint of sandalwood. It's comforting, until he notices just how close they are standing. He takes a step back, clears his throat, and takes a sip of his beer.

“You know you pull off the nerdy greaser look.” Castiel tilts his head and squints at Dean.

“Excuse me, did you just call me greasy?”

“No! Of course not - You know Grease, the movie, Danny and Sandy, singing, leather jackets and poodle skirts?”

“I have no idea what you are referring to.”

“You’ve never seen Grease? It’s a classic.”

“I don’t watch many movies.”

“Not even Star Wars?”

“No, I’m afraid not.” With that response, Dean looks absolutely devastated.

“Cas man, we’re going to have to change that sad, deprived life you're living.”

Dean is looking at him as he takes a long swig of his beer. Castiel licks his lips and watches Dean’s Adam’s apple bob as he swallows. They’re still looking at each other when he hears Balthazar's voice.

“Cassie, how did I know I would find you out here away from all of the fun. What happened to your shirt? Did someone steal it? I bet it was those plant biologists. I will track down those bastards.”

“Balthazar no, I just had an accident and had to rinse off some beer.” Balthazar rolls his eyes landing on Dean leaning against the railing beside him.

“Who is this tall drink of water?” Dean looks up at him smirking.

“Hey I'm Dean.” He extends his hand and Balthazar takes it.

“How strange you shake hands, I’m Balthazar. Are you the man Lisa is dating by chance?”

Castiel feels his stomach drop to his knees as Dean huffs finishing his beer.

“No we’re just having a little fun that’s all,” a brief expression runs across Dean’s face but it’s gone in a second when he takes a couple steps away.

“I suppose we should be returning to our girls huh Cas.”

Castiel’s relief is short lived as he sighs with still half a beer in his hand, “I’ll catch up with Meg later.”

“Alright suit yourself, it’s been nice meeting you. See you around Cas.” He watches Dean disappear into the house.

“Cassie, you look like you lost your shoe.”

“I’m just tired,” Castiel mumbles.

“You are such a party pooper. Meg will be very upset if she finds out you left this early in the night.”

With a sigh, Castiel realizes just how cold it is outside. 

“Fine let’s go back in.”

“That’s the spirit!”

He trades his beer for water and finds Meg dancing with one of the plant biologists Balthazar seems to detest. When she sees him she reaches out to him, running her hand up his arm.

“Is this what you’ve been hiding under that trench coat of yours?” Castiel just rolls his eyes and dances trying to keep his gaze from wandering to Dean and Lisa.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey everyone, thanks for reading so far! I appreciate all of you! (p.s. ignore any spelling or grammar errors)


	4. Chapter 4

As the night was winding down, most of the people left once the alcohol was gone. Only a handful of people were still meandering about the living room.

The air was stale and Castiel’s buzz was wearing off as Meg was leaning against him. Balthazar was asleep at the kitchen table lost to the world and Dean was sitting on one of the couches with Lisa draped over him.

“Meg, I think it’s time for bed.”

“Aw Clarence, what a gentleman.” Castiel had to all but carry her up the stairs. After a couple of trips and giggles, they finally made it to her room.

“Thanks for everything tonight. I’m glad you came.” Meg fell onto her bed.

“I hope that you had a fun birthday.” Castiel sat on the edge of her bed as she looked at him.

“Did you have fun? Did you get your man Clarence?” He sighed and shook his head.

“No it would seem he was preoccupied tonight. It’s for the best Meg you know I don’t have time for distractions.” She goes silent as he finds a blanket and tucks her in.

“Dean’s a big dummy and you deserve to be happy Clarence,” Meg mumbles and pats his face. He smiles and kisses her forehead.

“Thank you Meg.”

When he goes downstairs only a couple of people and Meg’s roommates are still there. He doesn’t see Dean or Lisa and for some reason he’s relieved. He doesn’t have to watch them cuddle, or make out or whatever on the couch.

This is usually the situations Castiel finds himself in, watching everyone else fall in love. It's because he's stubborn and he knows it. He feels like he’s missing out, but he won’t get into medical school if he spends his time mooning over some guy he just met.

He needs to focus on his studies; but for how long can he be focus only on his studies. He only has a couple years left of undergrad and then who know how long he’ll be in medical school.

Most of the people in medical school are either in steady long term relationships, married, or in his case hopelessly single. This is why Castiel shouldn’t be thinking of these things. Relationships are stressful, complicated and time consuming. Being single feels comfortable.

He thinks back to what Meg said. He wouldn’t say he’s particularly happy but he's doing fine, right? Nope, no, he is not going to have a mid-youth crisis half buzzed at 2 a.m. This is not happening right now.

He gathers up his shirt and roommate trying to balance Balthazar as they walk back to their apartment putting all of his thoughts behind him.

-

Castiel thought his life would return to the usual routine until he finds out Meg got a boyfriend. He is the plant biologists from the party and she messages him on Sunday elated.

The plant boy is visiting her at the coffee shop in the morning when Castiel walks in. He’s leaning over the playing with her hair in between kisses. It’s a sweet scene but he’s tired, craving a donut, and needs his green tea.

Castiel clears his throat, “Meg - ”

“Good morning Clarence!”

“Can you get me a sprinkled donut," he grumbles.

“Oh someone looks like they woke up on the wrong side of the bed.” He only squints at her as she types in his order.

“Alright grumpy pants here you go, enjoy your colorful donut.”

“Thank you.” His eyes wander to the new boyfriend who’s seated at a couch making goo goo eyes at Meg. "He seems nice."

“Aw you’re the sweetest and don’t think I’m kicking you to the curb you’re still my number one study buddy.”

“Sure, Meg,” he smiles and hears a familiar voice.

“Clarence.”

He sees Dean leaning over the counter with a somewhat sad look on his face.

“How are you doing Cas?”

“I’m fine Dean, and yourself.”

“Good, good, are you sure you’re good?” Castiel tilts his head questioning Dean’s concern and questioning.

“Yes, I am sure.”

“Dean stop flirting, there’s a vanilla latte that needs your attention,” Meg calls out.

“Careful it’s hot,” Dean quickly turns to make the latte.

Castiel grabs the cup and relocates himself to his table unpacking his laptop to start his homework. His eyes still wander to Dean, wondering why he looks so forlorn. 

Castiel has to meet with a professor so he doesn’t wait for Meg’s shift to end. When he glances at Dean as he leaves, he sees him discussing something with Meg. He doesn’t look happy about it either.

Thankfully the green tea woke him up enough to pay attention in class, but when he sees Lisa his mood shifts. She really is pretty, no wonder Dean likes her. 

Dean with his stupid green eyes, oddly perfect smile, and dumb leather jacket. Castiel runs his hands through his hair to re-focus himself. 

The rest of the day goes by without anything particularly interesting going on. He tries his best to not think about Dean again because that only puts Castiel in a worse mood.

At least the weather is nice and he can enjoy his walk home. It's warm but there is a slight breeze that blows open Castiel's trench coat when he walks. 

The slightest feeling of fall is in the air as Castiel takes deep breaths of fresh air. It's soothing to hear the rustling of leaves as the wind roams through the forest.  

As he approaches the beginning of the trail he hears increasing footsteps behind him. It’s probably just a runner so he moves to the side of the trail.

“Cas! Hey, wait up! Cas!”

When he turns around, he squints as he sees Dean jogging towards him.

“Dean? What are you doing?” He stops as Dean catches up to him and bends over, hands placed on his knees, huffing.

“Sorry - let me just - catch my breath. Man - I need to run more. You walk fast - you know that. ”

“Dean what is it that you want?”

“You’re not dating Meg,” Dean blurts out and stands up straight, wiping the sweat from his forehead.

“No I am not.”

“Right - okay, but she said that you guys were never dating?”

“No, we have never dated before. I don’t know why you would think that,” Castiel tilts his head and a smile spreads across Dean’s face.

“God I’m an idiot -” Dean rub a hand through his hair.

“No you’re not Dean, you are quite intelligent.”

“Cas, I thought you were dating Meg. You two are always together, and then this weekend - ”

“Dean, what’s going on?”

“Look I don't know how to say this in an articulate way so I'm just going to say it, I like you.” Dean rubs a hand on the back of his neck.

Castiel squints at him. “Why?"

"Why do I like you? - I don't know Cas, you're a good looking nerdy dude and I like talking to you. I want to spend more time with you, get to know you and other stuff -" Dean blushes.

"What about Lisa?”

“Lisa is just a friend. I swear.”

Castiel relaxes as Dean steps closer and reaches for him. He gently grabs his elbow and starts rubbing gentle circles with his thumb.

“So what do you say Cas? Do you want to go out with me?” Castiel feels his heart beating out of his chest.

“Dean, I don’t really ‘date,’” he says as he raises his hands as air quotes.

Dean chuckles and looks at him with puppy dog eyes, “C’mon just one date, I promise I’ll be a gentleman.”

There are so many thoughts running through Castiel’s mind. He's worked so hard for so long, he can't lose his focus when he's this close. Then he remembered what Meg has said to him. 

Castiel inhales and meets Dean's eyes, “I’ll go on a date under one condition.” Dean perks up and Castiel can practically see a sparkle in his eye.

“Sure Cas, hit me with it.”

“Can we watch Grease?” Dean’s smile is brighter than he’s ever seen.

“Yeah we can watch Grease, Cas.” Dean laughs then bites his lip and reaches for his hand.

“So can I walk you home?”

“I’d love that Dean,” Castiel can't help but smile. 

They walk together down the trail to his apartment. Fresh air filling his lungs, leaves crunching under his feet, and Dean’s warm hand in his; this was a something Castiel could get used to.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you everyone so much for reading! I'm so glad you made it this far.


	5. Chapter 5

The next week and a half is tedious and nerve racking. He has three midterms, two lab reports, and in between he finds himself studying with Dean in the library. It's nice to see Dean more frequently, even if they are on the top floor of the library silently studying together.

Castiel steals glances at Dean taking in the beautiful human sitting across from him. Under the warm light of the library lamps he can see freckles dusting across his nose. They weren’t obvious the other night at the dimly light party, but now he can’t stop imagining constellations across his face.

Dean scratches his nose which breaks Castiel out of his trance and tries to focus on his notes. The next time he looks up at Dean he’s running a hand through his hair looking stressed, but all Castiel focuses on is how soft it looks. He thinks about running his hands through it when Dean meets his gaze smirking.

“Are you studying over there or just admiring my good looks?” he whispers.

Castiel blushes and shakes his head as he whispers an apology.

“It’s fine, Cas I don’t mind,” Dean says as his foot wanders over and sneaks its way up Castiel’s leg.

He flinches and gasps, “Dean.” He hears a soft chuckle as the foot retreats and Dean sits up straight.

“Focus Cas, you’ve got lots to study.”

Castiel blushes again and again tries to focus on anything other than Dean.

-

The following Wednesday, Castiel sleeps through his alarm, probably because he has been staying up way too late studying for his stupid genetics exam. After a couple failed attempts at studying with Dean, he had to try and make up time. It was somewhere around 3 a.m. when he finally passed out from exhaustion.

He didn’t have time to go the coffee shop and had to quickly chug some of Balthazar’s disgusting coffee to become a fully functioning human. Castiel could already feel the jitters kicking in when he starts walking out the door.

He arrives on campus with enough time to relax outside of the lecture hall. Castiel sympathizes with some of the other students frantically studying. He knows that if he tries to do that his stress levels skyrocket and he won’t retain any of the information. Instead he just closes his eyes for a bit as he leans against the wall.

It’s not until he senses someone standing too close that he opens his eyes to see Meg staring at him.

She shoves a cup towards him, “Here this is for you.”

He stands up straighter and accepts the warm drink, “Thank you Meg.”

“Don’t thank me it’s from Dean,” Meg smirks.

Castiel turns the cup to see some writing and smiles.

     Missed you this morning 

     ~ D

“Looks like you didn’t strike out after all Clarence,” Meg says as he takes a long sip of the green tea and a warm feeling start to fill his chest.

“We cleared up some misunderstandings. He thought we were dating,” Castiel mumbles as he takes another sip letting the warm tea soothe his nerves.

She pokes him in the side, “You’re welcome by the way, I had to convince him I wasn’t cheating on you. He was trying to defend your honor or something.”

“Thank you, you’re a good friend.”

“Yeah, yeah I know I’m the best, now let’s go ace this exam,” she says as she shoves him gently.

-

The next night, Dean invites Castiel to watch a movie at his place to finally relax after midterms. He tries to think of a reason why this is a bad idea, but he can’t seem to come up with anything substantial. Balthazar is going out for “thirsty Thursday” and Meg is preoccupied with her new boyfriend.

He accepts Dean’s offer but can’t help but feel nervous. It turns out Dean doesn’t live that far from Meg’s place so he decides to walk. It is a lovely night with only a slight chill that wakes Castiel up and slightly settles his nerves.

He arrives at the house and steels himself to finally knock. When the door opens he’s met by a pretty redhead girl.

“Hello, you’re a dreamy one aren’t you,” she says while leaning against the doorframe. Castiel struggles to come up with a coherent answer as she gives him a once over.  

“H-hi -um t-thank you? Is this - does Dean live here?” He fumbles through the words and starts to look at the surrounding houses in case he went to the wrong door.

Then he hears Dean yelling from inside,“Charlie! Leave him alone, don’t freak the guy out.”

“Don’t worry buddy, you’re not my type - as in you’re not a girl, but you do have gorgeous eyes. Definitely Dean’s type,” she says as Dean opens the door further looking frazzled.

“I heard that. Hey Cas, come on in. This is Charlie, one of my roommates, don’t let her scare you off.”

“You're Cas?! It’s nice to meet you! I’ve heard a lot about you,” Charlie squeals as she looks up at him with bright eyes.

“Nice to meet you as well,” Castiel mutters as he enters the house. As soon as he walks in he immediately smells popcorn. He follows the two of them into the living room when Charlie abruptly stops in front of him.

“So Cas, what are your intentions towards Dean?" she asked calmly.

“Uh excuse me?” Castiel sputters and nearly runs into her.

Dean stops moving and turns around quickly as his eyebrows shoot up. “Charlie! Cas don’t answer that!”

“Aw you’re no fun,” Charlie pouts and crosses her arms.

“O-okay now that you two have met, Charlie don’t you have somewhere to be?” Dean not so discreetly clears his throat and looks between Charlie and the door.

“Alright hotshot, don’t get your panties in a twist. I can take a hint, I’m going over to Dorothy’s don’t wait up. Have fun Cas it was a pleasure meeting you. Dean don’t set the house on fire,” Charlie quips as she quickly grabs her bag and slings it over her shoulder heading towards the door.

Castiel and Dean both say goodbye and she yells, “Smell ya later, boys,”over her shoulder before she leaves.

Dean releases a sigh next to him and mumbles something to himself shaking his head. Castiel places a hand on his arm to get his attention. “Thank you for the tea the other day, I really appreciated the sentiment.”

“It’s not a big deal Cas. I didn’t see my favorite customer so I assumed you would need your daily dose of green tea.”

“I never got around to asking you before, but why do you call me Cas?” With that comment Dean seems to be blushing as Castiel glances at him.

“Um - it’s just nickname. If you don’t like it I can stop. I can call you Clarence, or Cassie, or whatever it is Balthazar calls you.”

“No it’s okay, I much prefer Cas.”

“Cool.” Dean smiles at him and Castiel feels a warmth bubbling in his chest again. He can’t help but smile back at him.

“I made popcorn, you can get comfortable while I grab a bowl,” Dean says as he wanders to the kitchen as he yells over his shoulder, “What would you like to drink? We’ve got beer, wine, water, apple juice, orange juice, Charlie has some juice bags hidden in her room if you want one of those -” Castiel chuckles at all the beverages Dean continues to list off.

“Beer is fine,” he calls out as he settles into the couch taking off his trench coat and draping it over the chair next to him.

Dean returns with two beers and a giant bowl of popcorn placing it in Castiel’s lap.

“Alright, so I had to bribe Charlie into getting this movie from one of her friends, but what I have here is a Grease DVD that comes with its very own pink ladies jacket cover.”

“Why does a DVD need a pink jacket?” Castiel asks so genuinely that Dean can’t help but smile.

“It’s a special edition. Let’s just watch the movie, I promised you Grease didn’t I?”

Once the movie starts, Dean sits down close to him and reaches for the popcorn in Castiel’s lap. Castiel tries to pay attention to the movie, but everytime Dean reaches for popcorn or drinks his beer he can’t help but watch him.

“Cas watch the movie,” he suddenly says smirking without taking his eyes off the screen. Castiel blushes and returns his gaze to the TV.

Every now and then Castiel can’t help but ask questions or mumble random comments.  

“These people look too old to be in high school.”

Dean laughs, “Yeah most of them are in their 20’s, I think Sandy is almost thirty.”

“How did Sandy become a cheerleader if she’s not very good?”

“Not sure Cas, probably because she's cute.”

“That girl has crazy eyes,” Castiel mumbles while chewing on a handful of popcorn.

“Patty Simcox? Yeah that’s for sure.”

“So these guys also have a weird obsession with their cars?”

“Hey, low blow man. No more popcorn for you,” Dean teases and snatches the bowl from Castiel.

He pouts and curls in on himself before Dean releases a sigh.

“Okay you big baby, you can have some popcorn.” Castiel immediately perks up and smiles, shoving a huge handful into his mouth.

Dean laughs and leans closer to Castiel resting his arm across the back of the couch.

“Why does the car fly at the end of the movie? Is it a magic car?”

“Yeah, it’s a magic car,” Dean chuckles looking at Castiel with a soft look on his face. 

“I enjoyed the movie Dean, although I don’t know if I agree with the message. Sandy shouldn’t have had to change her entire look for Danny to finally accept her. Plus those heels would be very uncomfortable to dance in.”

Dean laughs beside him as he stretches and turns his body towards Castiel, placing the popcorn and beer on the floor.

“Yeah I agree the movies isn’t perfect but it’s a classic. Catchy music, cool cars -” Dean trails off and continues to look at Castiel with a fond look as his eyes flick towards his lips. 

"Cas," Dean says so softly it's almost a whisper. He bites his lip and quietly asks, “May I kiss you?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks again for reading! My computer is going to be in the shop for a while but don't worry a new chapter will be coming.


	6. Chapter 6

It takes Castiel’s mind a moment to comprehend the words that are coming out of Dean’s mouth. Dean wants to kiss him! Castiel could only nod maybe a little too enthusiastically as he moves closer to Dean, watching him smile and subconsciously lick his lips.

They both lean in until they are mere inches apart before Castiel’s eyes flutter shut and he feels the light press of Dean’s lips against his.

Castiel feels a familiar warmth bubbling in his chest as Dean pulls away, meeting Castiel’s gaze just for a second before he leans in again. Dean runs a hand through his hair as their lips meet again. Castiel gasps at the touch and Dean slips his tongue between his lips. Castiel’s mind almost completely stops as he melts into Dean’s touches.

He places a hand on Dean’s hip anchoring himself as Dean kisses trail down his jaw and neck. He runs a hand through the soft hair on the back of Dean’s head and bring him back up to meet his lips.

Dean’s a patient kisser, slowly coaxing his tongue into Castiel mouth, running it along his lower lip. It’s the kind of kiss that steals his breath and leaves him light headed.

When they part their foreheads rest together, as they calm their breathing. Castiel’s heartbeat is racing and the warmth has spread throughout his entire body.

He hears Dean whisper, “Awesome.”

As Castiel opens his eyes he slowly sits up letting his hand stroke down Dean’s neck, resting there as he strokes his thumb along his jaw.

“Indeed,” Castiel says before he starts giggling like a schoolgirl, leaning back resting his head on the back of the couch. Tilting his head to look at Dean he sees him smiling at him.

Dean moves quickly closer to him kissing up his neck and across his jawline pausing in front of his face. “Do you want to watch another movie?” he asks with a devilish grin.

“Yes,” Castiel murmurs and kisses Dean one more time before he goes to grab something from his room. As he’s sitting there alone, he runs a hand over his lips and smiles. He just kissed Dean and he’s feeling - good, great actually.

When Dean returns he throws a blanket over Castiel’s head. Dean picks some romantic comedy on Netflix as he settles in next to him.  

Castiel leans up against Dean’s side as they relax on the couch. They are basically cuddling under the blanket and doing a little more kissing than watching the movie.

At some point, they end up laying down with Castiel’s head resting on Dean’s chest. Dean smells even better than the other night.

Woodsy, definitely sandalwood, notes of leather, and there is something sweeter, maybe apple - cinnamon apple, that’s it.

Castiel smiles to himself and lets Dean’s heartbeat comfort him. He hasn’t felt nervous since he stepped into Dean’s home. He’s calmer than he’s felt since the semester started.

He continues to relax closing his eyes as Dean rubs soothing circles along his arm.

-

When Castiel opens his eyes again there’s an annoying beeping sound invading his dream and it doesn’t seem stop. He groans and blinks a few times to try and focus his eyes. When his eyes finally decide to do their job, he looks around an unfamiliar room.

Castiel feels stiff and shifts slightly when he realizes that his pillow is moving. Then he remembers where he is and that his pillow turns out to be Dean, who is mumbling something in his sleep.

“Turn it off,” Dean grumbles and starts to stir underneath Castiel. He sits up taking the blanket with him looking around for the source of the sound. Dean starts to reach towards him searching for something to fix the loss of warmth.

Castiel tries to say, “Dean it’s your alarm. What time is it?” but it comes out as incoherent grumbles. Dean decides to join the land of the living at that moment and sits up patting the couch around him.

Castiel wraps up in the blanket and lays down on the other side of the couch until the beeping stops and he hears Dean swear.

“Shit, we fell asleep on the couch. Cas I gotta get ready to go to work.” Castiel grumbles again but curls further into the blanket. Dean laughs at whatever came out of his mouth.

“Okay you’re obviously not a morning person. I’m gonna go shower quick and then make some breakfast, maybe that’ll wake you up.”

The next time he opens his eyes it’s to the smell of bacon. Castiel slowly rises off the couch and shuffles into the kitchen, blanket still wrapped around him.

“Good morning sleeping beauty. Do you want some coffee? Sorry I don’t have any green tea.”

“Mhm s’fine, cream and sugar please,” he mumbles as Dean places a plate of scrambled eggs, toast and bacon in front of him. “Thank you.”

A hand runs across his back and Dean kisses his temple as he hands him the coffee. He smiles and drinks half of it before Dean returns to sit across from him at the table with his food.

“Sorry it’s so early, but I have the opening shift and I have to catch the bus in about forty five minutes.”

“Tha’s alright Dean. You really didn’t need to make me breakfast.”

“Cas, just eat your eggs.”

They eat in comfortable silence as Castiel continues to fully wake up. At least Dean’s coffee tastes a lot better than Balthazar’s and the food is delicious. He hasn’t had actual breakfast other than bagels or cereal in a long time.

“This is delicious Dean, you’re a good cook,” he praises as Dean smiles shyly.

“It’s just eggs and bacon, not that hard to make.”

“They’re better than I could ever do, I usually burn everything.”

Dean shakes his head as he smirks at him. “I don’t know how you’ve survived this long.” Castiel just shrugs and continues sipping on his coffee.

When they’re done, Castiel helps rinse the dishes placing them in the dishwasher.

“Hey, do you want a change of clothes?”

“Uh yeah sure.”

Dean leads Castiel into his room where he hands him a soft band shirt and a flannel. He looks around Dean’s room taking in his surroundings. It’s tidy and organized other than a desk covered in textbooks in the corner. There’s some poster of Star Wars or something, maybe Star Trek? Castiel can’t really tell the difference.

Dean is packing up his bag when he turns around and sees Castiel shirtless. Maybe he should have waited or gone to the bathroom to change but it’s too late now.

Dean stares openly at him as Castiel quickly pulls on the shirt blushing. “Thanks Dean.”

He clears his throat, “No problem.” They walked back out to the living room and Castiel slips on his coat and heads out with Dean.

He walks with him to the bus stop and waits with him until he hears the bus rounding the corner.

“Thank you for everything Dean.”

“Anytime, Cas,” he says as he steps closer to him and places quick kiss to his lips. Castiel smiles as Dean steps onto the bus. He turns as the bus pulls away and walks back to his apartment.

He didn’t need to borrow Dean’s clothes, he has to go home anyways to get his stuff for school, but Castiel wasn’t going to turn down Dean’s offer. They smell like Dean and it’s already calming him. The shirt is soft and well loved like many things in Dean’s life.

Memories of the night before replay in his mind. The kissing was definitely a good time, but when did Castiel become someone who falls asleep at someone’s house. He doesn’t even remember being that tired, he must have been very relaxed to be able to fall asleep like that.

When he arrives Balthazar isn’t in the kitchen so he peaks into his room. He’s still passed out probably hungover from last night. He packs his backpack and freshens up  finally taking in the state of his hair.

It’s a mess, sticking out in every direction maybe even worse than normal. He tries to run his hands through it to make it less of a bird’s nest. He can’t help but smile as he remembers Dean running his fingers through his hair.

It’s a surprisingly warm day, so Castiel decides to ditch his trench coat and just wear Dean’s flannel. He’s also feeling a little selfish and maybe he wants to be seen wearing Dean’s clothes.

He’s become so comfortable around Dean so quickly it caught him off guard. Not to mention the guy makes him breakfast in the morning and he’s totally fine with it - happy in fact. This morning felt shockingly domestic and that should freak him out, but for some reason it doesn’t. He continues to contemplate what is different about Dean, but can’t seem to figure it out.

When he arrives on campus he’s in a surprisingly good mood, smiling at strangers as he walks through the hall. He’s anxious for a whole different reason, instead of stress or classes, he’s anxious to see Dean. Although that thought is completely ridiculous because Castiel just saw him less than an hour ago. He’s such an idiot he thinks shaking his head.

Walking into the coffeeshop Meg is looking at him with a very judgemental eyebrow raised.

“Since when did you start liking AC/DC and dressing like a lumberjack?” Meg smirks at him.

Castiel glances at his clothes then at Dean who is nearby pretending he’s busy cleaning. Castiel just shrugs and smiles.

“Good morning to you too Meg.”

Meg looks between Dean and Castiel. “If I didn’t know any better I would think that you raided Dean-o’s closet here.”

Castiel meets Dean’s gaze as he smiles and winks at him before walking over to the sink. Castiel blushes looking at Meg again.

“I spent the night at Dean’s. He borrowed me clothes, nothing happened.”

“Hey don’t worry about it Clarence. I’m not judging, I’m happy for you two idiots.”

Castiel smiles as he goes to meet Dean waiting with his drink.

“Cas.”

“Hello, Dean.”

“You look good -” Dean says as he walks around the counter to  meet him, eyes raking over his body.

Castiel blushes as he murmurs, “Thanks. These are quite comfortable.”

Dean is smiling at him biting his lip as he hands him his tea, fingers lingering. Then Dean quickly kisses him before brushing a hand over the top of his head ruffling his hair.

“Careful it’s hot,” he beams as he returns to his work.

Castiel doesn't hide his smile as he sits at his table and gets to studying enzyme kinetics. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Once again I'm so thankful for everyone reading I appreciate all of you!! (also keep ignoring any spelling or grammatical errors, one day they will disappear)


	7. Chapter 7

The following days, Castiel finds himself spending more and more time with Dean; whether it’s mini grabbing lunch together between classes, watching movies at Dean’s place, or some studying at Castiel’s apartment sans Balthazar whenever possible because he is a public nuisance.

One night, Castiel ends up going to a movie with Charlie, Benny, Dean’s other roommate, and some other people Castiel is unfamiliar with. He doesn’t do well in larger groups, especially with people he doesn’t know.

He’s preparing himself for awkward introductions and conversations about things he won’t understand when Dean comes to pick him up. He’s taken by surprise when Dean stops him as they’re walking towards a large black car.

“Now Cas, this is a big moment,” Dean says as he pauses in front the car. “I want to introduce you to my Baby.”

Castiel walks around the car looking at the detailing and running his hand across it, “She’s beautiful Dean.” The car really was stunning. Dean put a lot of work into it and that shows, no wonder he’s obsessed with it.

“Thanks Cas,” Dean says as he rubs the back of his neck. “Here let me get the door.”

Castiel mumbles a thank you and feels like a fool smiling to himself about the simplest things as he watched Dean walk around the car. He starts to relax as he settles into the leather seat and the engine purrs to life.

When they arrive at the theater, Dean introduces him to Benny and his girlfriend Andrea while they wait for Charlie and the others. Dean takes Andrea with him to buy popcorn and snacks. He’s left alone with Benny who is looking with a judgmental glint in his eye.

“So you’re Cas,” Benny says as he crossed his arms.

“That’s correct, it’s nice to finally meet you.” Unsure if he should shake his hand he waits for Benny to make the first move, but it doesn’t happen. It seems strange that they haven’t met before, but Benny is either at work or at Andrea’s whenever he's at Dean's.

Benny just gives him a firm nod as he grunts, “Likewise. Dean talks about you a lot.”

“Mostly good things I hope,” Castiel glances towards Dean’s direction catching him laughing at whatever Andrea had said.

“He says you want to be a doctor?”

“Yes that’s the plan.”

Benny shifts slightly rubbing a hand across his beard like he’s still trying to decide if Castiel is worthy. “So, what is that six more years of schooling?”

“Yeah at least, depending on what I choose to do or specialize.” Castiel begins to feel self conscience under Benny’s scrutinizing gaze.

“That's nuts dude. You must enjoy torture or something.” Benny says humorously raising an eyebrow at him.

“Or something -” he says squinting slightly as Dean returns and hands him a large bucket of popcorn. Benny directs his attention back towards his girlfriend and he couldn’t feel more relief.

Charlie is running late so they find an empty row in the middle of the theater as Benny and Dean are chatting.

Castiel busies himself eating popcorn, trying to avoid talking to Benny who obviously has some sort of contention towards him. Charlie comes running in with a few other people, Castiel mumbles a greeting when Dean introduces him.

They’re seeing some superhero movie that Castiel is not familiar with. Dean tells him there’s a bunch of movies that they will definitely add the the growing list of things Dean is going to educate him with.

Seeing Dean smiling and laughing with his friends makes him happy, even if he can feel the disdain radiating from Benny whenever he looks at him. He begins to relax despite everything and just before the movie starts Dean must notice how quiet he is and reaches for his hand giving it a squeeze. Castiel smiles reassuring that he’s okay and squeezes back.

-

Things are going relatively well until Castiel begins to crumble. He receives his MCAT study books and materials in the mail and starts to plan out a study schedule so for all of his test preparation. 

He has to do well otherwise his chances of getting into medical school are slim to none. Castiel stares at the big books mocking him on his desk. Maybe he should have started studying earlier. He has lab reports due and hasn’t even started. The days are passing by so quickly, yet he feels like he's not accomplished anything.

Then there are more exams right around the corner and he hasn’t even started to organize his study guides or re-write his notes. He’s been slacking, that much is obvious and the stress is starting to get under his skin.

His anxiety is setting in and his heart is beating faster as he writes in his planner just thinking about all that needs to be done. He’s losing focus and this is the worst time for that to happen. Maybe he’s been spending too much time with Dean.

Why Dean even likes him is still a mystery to him. He's a mess, he can't even study without freaking out. Castiel runs a shaky hand through his hair trying to calm his breathing.

It's been a while since he had a breakdown, so it's probably about time. He can hear the blood rushing as he breaks a sweat. He slowly breathes in and out as tears begin to sting his eyes. He blinks them away as he rubs his hands across his thighs. 

Dean was going to pick him up soon for a date and he was not in good form, on the edge of a nervous breakdown. Castiel huffs - he's dating Dean and that’s still not something he’s not completely used to yet.

Dean told him not worry about tonight because he had a plan but he wasn’t sharing this plan with Castiel which was also stressing him out for no reason at all.

Balthazar had already laughed at him for running around the apartment like a chicken with its head cut off trying to get things done before Dean came.

Castiel slowly composes himself and calms down enough where he's not on the verge of tears. He tries to sit in the living room with Balthazar to remain as calm as possible.

“Cassie can you stop shaking your leg, I’m about to cut it off.”

Castiel immediately stops moving altogether and runs a hand through his hair sighing. “Sorry, I’m feeling a little on edge.”

Balthazar stops typing and looks over at him, “Are you alright?" Castiel nods slowly.

“You have got to relax, it’s just a date and Dean doesn’t seem like the serial killer type.”

“It’s not just that, it’s everything. And I’m not concerned about Dean being some psychopathic killer.”

Balthazar rolls his eyes and heads into the kitchen, "Why don’t you take a couple of shots to loosen up.”

“Thanks for the advice, but I think I’ll pass.” Balthazar shrugs as he pours himself a drink.

“Don’t you have an essay due?”

“That’s why I’m drinking, cheers,” he says as he downs the shot.

As Balthazar pours another shot, there’s a knock at the door. “I wonder who that could be?” Balthazar says as he runs to the door before Castiel. Balthazar pushes him back out of the way and cracks the door open revealing Dean standing there confused.

“Uh-hey Balthazar. Good to see you again,” Dean said as he reaches out his hand toward Balthazar who accepts his handshake still holding Castiel back.

“That’s right - you shake hands. Cassie’s right here.” Balthazar opens the door farther and releases him as he almost falls out the door.

“Hey Cas,” Dean chuckles.

“Hello Dean, please excuse my roommate he was raised under a rock. I’m ready to go,” Castiel says as he pushes past Balthazar.

“And Cassie doesn’t have any manners. Have fun make sure to have him home before curfew. Ta-ta.” Balthazar closes the door behind him.

“I’m sorry about him,” Castiel explains.

“It’s fine. I don’t mind, he’s a good time.” Dean smiles and grabs his hand as they walk.

As Dean drove around a part of the city he didn't know, Castiel couldn’t take it anymore and had to ask what he had planned.

“Okay, I’m going to take you to the best burger place around. Do you like burgers? I hope you like burgers, I mean that’s all fine and stuff if you don’t because they have other food or salads too if you like that. Sammy always orders salads like some rabbit. I’ve never had one before but you know they're probably still good.” Dean finally stops rambling and releases a breath.

Castiel reaches over to touch Dean’s knee, “I love burgers Dean.”

“Good, good, that’s good,” Dean’s grip on the steering wheel loosens as he drives.

Dean seems nervous for some reason which helps calm his own nerves. He glances out the window and watches as buildings pass by in a blur. 

When they arrive at the restaurant they were immediately met with a bubbly waitress who took a particular interest in Dean. She spoke mostly to Dean who ends up ordering a couple of cheese burgers and beers for both of them. Castiel watches as the waitress giggles and walks away with an extra little sway in her hips. His mouth becomes dry and he takes in his surroundings trying to relax, but his mind keeps wandering to all of the things he needs to do.

“Hey you’ve been kinda quiet, is everything okay?” Dean asks meeting his eyes, but Castiel can’t seem to hold his gaze.

“Yeah, just stressed -" Castiel clears his throat, his voice scratchy all of a sudden. "Med school stuff,” he says shaking his head.

He can still feel Dean looking at him when he asks, “What made you want to become a doctor?”

Castiel swallows hard, “My sister, Anna.”

Dean shifts on the other side of the booth looking at him with interest. Castiel runs his fingers along the cold glass of beer as he continues. 

“She was a few years younger than me but she was - very sick growing up, in and out of the hospital. Chronic kidney disease and the treatments weren’t very effective. The doctors tried everything but - the disease inevitably lead to kidney failure when she was ten and I couldn’t save her.” Castiel pauses staring down at the table avoiding eye contact.

“I felt helpless and I don’t want to feel that way ever again - ” Castiel didn’t realize he was digging his fingernails into the palm of his hand until Dean gently reaches for him placing his hand on top of his. He relaxes his fist and Dean takes his hand in his.

“I’m sorry about your sister, I shouldn’t have asked.”

Castiel squeezes Dean’s hand gently, “It’s alright Dean, you couldn’t have known. It’s just been a while since I’ve talked to someone about it.” Dean is looking at him with soft eyes and Castiel can’t look away.

“I lost my mom when I was young,” Dean says softly. “I was only four years old, there was an electrical fire, Sammy was only a baby, I had to carry him out. Mom didn’t make it out.”

“I’m so sorry Dean, that must have been hard for you.” Castiel’s sadness started seeping into his bones. He hadn’t talked to anyone about Anna in a long time, let alone on a date and Dean was sharing so openly his life with him as well. He usually shies away from these topics but there is just something about Dean that makes him able to talk about all of it.

Castiel was about to continue when the waitress re-appears with the food. Dean retracts his hand and sits back rubbing his hands together looking at the food.

“Looks great thanks,” Dean says as he smiles at the waitress.

She smiles at him before saying, “Let me know if you need anything else.” Castiel watches her waiting for her to look at him even once, but her eyes are glued on Dean.

Castiel decides to just eat his feelings as he takes a large bite of the burger. He’s pleasantly surprised by just how delicious it tastes. He moans happily to himself, or he thought it was to himself but when he looks up at Dean he is staring at him with wide eyes.

“Geez Cas, sounds as if you like that burger more than me.”

Castiel chews just enough so he can speak, “My apologies, but this burger - makes me very happy.”

“Don’t apologize,” Dean says with a wink and Castiel blushes profusely. He has to consciously still his leg to keep it from bouncing and focuses on his food. They eat mostly in silence both enjoying their food, Castiel maybe a little more than Dean.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading and sticking with me! This turned out longer than I expected but we're getting there.


	8. Chapter 8

When the waitress finally comes back with the check, she acts as though Castiel is nonexistent once again handing it to Dean.

“Can I help with the tip?” Castiel says as he glances at the receipt.

“Nope Cas, I’ve got it covered.” Dean smiles as he takes out his wallet. That’s when he sees the phone number written on the check.

It’s fine, he gets it, Dean is a very attractive man. Of course anyone who has eyes is going to flirt with him, then again flirting seems to come naturally to Dean too.

Maybe all of this was a bad idea, Dean is so different than him. Castiel should have thought this through more. Maybe this is moving too fast. This isn’t what Castiel does, falling so far he’s feels like he can’t keep up. He’s getting in over his head with Dean. What is Dean doing to him?

He watches silently as Dean puts down money and starts to stand up.

“Aren’t you going to take the receipt?” Castiel asks cautiously as he stands and runs a hand through his hair.

Dean steps closer to him reaching for his hand and scowls,“No I’m good, Cas.” Castiel just looks at their hands intertwined and tries to smile. Dean give his hand a squeeze and kissing his cheek before saying,“Trust me, I’m good.”

When they get in the car Dean is quiet. Maybe this was for the best, relationships were a lot of time and effort which is why Castiel has been avoiding them for so long. His leg hasn’t stopped bouncing since he got into the vehicle.

“Cas, did you really think I would pick up a girl while I was on a date with you?”

Castiel looks at his feet as  he answers him, “I don’t know Dean, she seemed very nice and I’m sure she would be more interesting than me.”  
Dean was tense next to him when he glanced out of the corner of his eye. “Why do you say things like that?”

Castiel doesn’t answer him right away because he doesn’t know what to say or he’s not ready to admit the reasons why he is so insecure. He remains silent until he mutters, “Maybe this isn’t working out Dean.”

Castiel couldn’t look at him as he dug his fingernails into his palms. He waits for Dean to reply but it doesn’t come. He’s met with the same silence he gave Dean as he just keeps driving. Guess that answers that. When he finally looks over at him, Dean’s jaw muscles are twitching and his knuckles are white from gripping the steering wheel so tightly.

Maybe it’s for the best, Dean can be happy with someone who doesn’t hold him back or bring him down. Castiel has started to feel like a burden to everyone around him, especially Dean. Meg has been telling him how much of a downer he is lately and it doesn’t usually bother him but it’s different this time.

Dean makes a turn down a road that Castiel didn’t recognize and he starts to get nervous. “Dean where are we?”

Dean sighs finally releasing tension from his body.

“I want to show you something, before you decide that you want to end things.” Castiel bites his lower lip as Dean slows the car and looks at him with a melancholy look in his eye. “C’mon let’s take a walk.”

Castiel must have been more nervous that he thought because his sweat begins to cool when he steps out of the car. He hadn’t realized how sweaty he actually was until he runs a hand over his forehead wicking the sweat from his skin.

They were at some dimly lit park, Castiel had never been to before. Maybe Balthazar’s warning about a serial killer were true. What if Dean was going to kill him in this park and cut up his body into tiny little pieces. Maybe he’s going to take one of his kidneys to pay for his tuition and Castiel will wake up in an unknown location with mysterious scars. Castiel shakes his head clearing his mind.

Dean leads him to an observation deck designed like a gazebo where they sit on a bench overlooking the city. It’s beautiful, the twinkling lights of the city and contrast the shadowy trees blending into the night sky. Some of the trees are wrapped in twinkling lights and the stars can be seen more brightly than usual as Castiel looks up towards the sky mouth slightly ajar.

“Cas -” Dean whispers grabbing his attention. Castiel takes in how stunning he looks even under dim lighting. He watches as Dean’s eyelashes flutter before he meets his gaze with familiar green eyes.

“I get that you might be scared and you’ve been through a lot but believe me that I want to be here with you.  I choose you and even though this is still new, I think we have a good thing going.” Dean shifts angling himself towards Castiel.

He grips his thighs as he turns towards Dean. “ You’re so much more than I could ever have wanted, but I’m no good at this. I’m just not sure I’m good enough for you. Benny sure doesn’t think so -” No matter what Castiel says or does, it never seems to enough for Benny to accept him.

“That’s one of the most ridiculous things you’ve ever said. First off Benny’s got his own issues, don’t worry about what he thinks. Second, how can you think that you’re not good enough for me. You’re the smartest, kindest, most stunning person I know. I’m just some guy Cas.”

Castiel blinks at him, “ I could say the same about you Dean. You’re more than just some guy. You’re so selfless and bright. People probably wonder why you’re wasting your time with me.”

“Whoever these people are, can go fuck themselves. I don’t care what other people think about us. All I care about is what you think.” Dean starts to shift closer almost reaching out towards him before he stops. “What _do_ you think Cas?”

“I really like you Dean, probably more than I should. I don’t understand the effect you have on me.”

“It’s because I’m adorable.” Dean beams at him obviously trying to lighten the mood. He finally reaches out and grabs Castiel’s hand, gently stroking his thumb across it. He almost immediately feels the warmth from Dean’s hand seep into his body.

Castiel smiles and shakes his head as he stares out over the city. The dark sky was clear and lovely, Castiel thought about what if would be like if he could fly. He would be able to escape and soar through the night, but then again he doesn’t know if he would want to fly away from Dean. This was the whole dilemma that was starting to consume Castiel. He starts counting his breaths still staring up at the sky. The big blue moon was a calming presence, the only light filling the sky as the city lights polluted the stars.

Castiel’s head tells him to analyze everything, but his heart is pulling him towards Dean without any thought. He’s aching at the thought of losing Dean, or not seeing him, or talking to him.

“Cas look, I really like you too and I kinda suck at all of this emotional stuff, but I don’t want to force you into anything. I know you have a lot on your plate and your getting into medical school comes first, but I’d like to be there for you when you’re stressed or anxious or barely awake in the mornings.”

Dean squeezes his hand and Castiel bites his bottom lip before replying. He can hear the blood rushing in his ears. “Dean, I want all of those things too. I’m so relaxed around you and there’s this warmth that feels like it’s consuming me whenever I’m with you. You were right Dean, I am scared; of what I’m not entirely sure. Maybe it’s you and the way you make me feel. Maybe it’s the fear of the unknown. Maybe it’s just something wrong with my brain that won’t let me enjoy a good thing when it happens.” Castiel laughs humorously before he inhales deeply to calm the butterflies swirling in his stomach.

“I’m sorry I’m such a mess a lot of the time. I’ve just never had this or felt this before with anyone -” Castiel’s hands are growing sweaty and twitchy as Dean continues to stroke his thumb calmingly across his hand.”But I want this, I want you.”

Dean smiles brighter than he’s ever seen before. “I want you too Cas, more than you can even imagine. You’re such an amazing person and I think it’s time that someone helps you see that. You make me a better person even if you don’t believe me, it’s true.”

Castiel smiles as his whole face becomes warm. He scoots closer to Dean as he wraps an arm around him. He lets Dean’s warmth and scent calm him as he rests his head in his neck. They just sit there for a while in silence taking in the beautiful sight of the city at night.

Dean starts to shift next to him and Castiel looks up at him.“So do you still want to be my boyfriend?” He says as he wiggles his eyebrows and Castiel nudges him playfully.

“Yes Dean. I’d like that very much. I’m sorry I tried to break up with you earlier.” Castiel dips his head biting his lower lip. Dean lifts his chin gently making him look into those astonishing green eyes.

“You can’t get rid of me that easily Cas.” Castiel’s eyes dart to Dean’s lips before meeting his eyes again.

“I’d also very much like to kiss you right now.”

Dean chuckles, “I thought you’d never ask.”

Dean hand wanders to the side of his face pausing to stroke his ear before tangling in his hair and running across the back of his neck. The touch anchors him as he leans in to kiss Dean’s warm lips. It was soft and slow as Castiel pulls closer by his jacket to the point where he’s almost sitting on his lap. He completely turns and Dean hooks underneath his knees guiding his legs to rest across his lap. Castiel feels that familiar warmth spread to the tips of his toes as they curl his shoes as Dean’s tongue slips between his lips.

He’s breathless within moments letting himself sink into Dean’s touches. All of the tension releases from Castiel as endorphins and dopamine rush through his body. For the first time in a long time, he’s calm, relaxed, and finally happy.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for reading this little story! I appreciate every single one of you! (stay tuned for a mini chapter/epilogue in the future)


	9. Chapter 9

Castiel’s new normal involved morning kisses from Dean, trail walks hand in hand with Dean, green tea made with local organic honey, a table in the corner of the coffee shop near the window, car rides in Dean’s baby and a couple more kisses.

At least once a week, they have a movie night where Dean can further educate Castiel on everything Marvel,  Star Wars, and Indiana Jones. Oh and let’s not forget the occasional Grease, but never Grease 2 which apparently was a thing that Castiel was not aware of. Somewhere along the line they made another one but it’s not nearly as good, if Dean has anything to say about it.

Tonight Dean insists on introducing him to something new. Something that he is way too excited about because he’s nearly jumps up and down on the couch next to Castiel.

“Cas, you’re going to love it. It has doctors, nurses, and drama; what else could you want in a tv show?”

“I’ve enjoyed everything you’ve shown me thus far so I’m sure I will like it.”

Castiel settles in under a tie blanket that Sam had made Dean for Christmas one year. It has cowboys and horses on it and Castiel finds it very endearing, even if Dean usually hides it in his room. Next to him, Dean is clutching a bowl of popcorn and a couple beers. He hands him the bowl and a beer as he searches for the show.

Dean was practically buzzing next to him as the show starts and the words Dr. Sexy appear on the television screen. Castiel squints at the screen and scowls slightly as a hospital scene appears on the television.

“It’s called Dr. Sexy, really Dean?”

“Shh, Cas you’re going to miss Dr. Sexy’s entrance.” Dean rests an arm around his shoulder and digs in the popcorn bowl with the other. As the show continues Castiel can’t help but roll his eyes at the inaccuracies of the show.

“Dean you know that these kind of relationships do not happen in real life. Not to mention cowboy boots are not appropriate footwear in a hospital, let alone comfortable to walk around in all day.”

“Do not hate on the cowboy boots, they are an important part of what makes Dr. Sexy, sexy.”

Castiel tries to hide it, but a smile breaks across his face. He looks at Dean with a fondness he’s learned never to hide. Having Dean around helps keep his anxiety at bay and quiets his mind. Whenever Castiel becomes stressed or anxious Dean know how to calm him down and help him relax. He turns out to be a helpful distraction working through biochemical pathways with him in between kisses and other things.

They even survived a double date with Meg and her plant boy, however; vowing to never do that again willingly. They ended up watching the two of them almost have sex at the dinner table. Castiel grasped at Dean’s leg most of the night just trying to keep from getting up and leaving or yelling at them in public. It’s not that he doesn’t like PDA, but to an the extent that Meg was displaying made him and Dean severely uncomfortable.

After Castiel gets lost in his thoughts eyes still on Dean, he notices him looking at him out of the side of his eye and smirks.

“Cas you’re missing the show.”

Castiel grins sheepishly and turns his eyes back to the television screen.

The show ends up being much better than he thought and only a few episodes in and he’s already too invested in the characters. Dean has obviously watched the show too many times because he’s reciting the lines along with the actors. Something dramatic happens and Dean doesn’t even blink as he watches the screen intently. He's like a little kid in a candy shop. 

Without looking away from the screen Dean says, “You’re watching me more than the show.”

Castiel smiles, leans over and kisses Dean’s neck, running his hand through the back of Dean’s hair pulling him closer. He finally turns away from the television and meets his lips. Dean reacts instantly turning fully towards him.

A wave of warmth washes over him like the ocean breeze on a hot summer’s day. Castiel becomes lost in Dean’s insistent kisses as he snakes his hand around his waist. Dean nips at his bottom lip and a small moan escapes from his mouth. After what seems like an infinite amount of time, Castiel pulls back smiling as he gazes into Dean’s eyes.

“Now we’re both missing the show.” Castiel pecks him on the lips again before kissing his cheeks and down his jaw and neck.

Dean chuckles and the low timbre of his voice tickles his lips. “What’s all this for?” Dean asks guiding his face up to look at him again.

“Just a thank you.”

“For what?”

“For just being you. For everything, you calm me down, ground me. You stick with me when I’m at my worst and I still get butterflies when I hold your hand." Castiel bites his lower lip building up the courage to continue. "You’re more than I could have ever asked for, I’ve never been happier. I’m so thankful that I met that hot engineering barista that one morning.”

“Aw Cas, you sap," Dean says kissing the top of his forehead. "You know, every time you walk into the coffee shop my heart skips a beat and trust me it’s not from too much caffeine.” Castiel shoves Dean lightly because that was one of the cheesiest things he’s ever heard him say.

They both chuckle as they wrestle with each other for a little bit before Castiel wraps his arms around him as they settle down on the couch. He takes in his calming scent and smiles. Dean sighs and runs his hand down Castiel’s back rubbing circles along his spine.

“You are the smartest person I know and you deserve the world. You deserve better than me but I’m so fucking glad you still like me anyways. You know you’re my future Dr. Sexy.” Castiel huffs and kisses him again. He rests his head on Dean’s shoulder.

Even if Dean is an assbutt from time to time who has an unhealthy obsession with his car, cowboys, and possibly Castiel, he doesn’t mind, not one bit.

Castiel loves his new normal.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for hanging in there with me, sorry for the wait! Thanks again for reading this little thing I wrote. I appreciate every single one of you who took the time to read this!


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